Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Hoop Dreams

Congratulations Bob and Jen on bringing Lorelei Elizabeth into the world! (Did I spell her name right?)

You know what this means, don't you? Five nephews. Five nieces. Full court, 5 on 5 basketball action! Nieces vs. Nephews!

Dad, see if you can reserve the high school gym for some time around 2016. I'll coach the girls and Bobby will take on the boys.

I think MacKenzie is going to be our outside shooting threat. And Alex will DOMINATE under the basket. Sarah will use her height to be a good power forward and Jenna will be our star ball handler and point guard. Not sure about Lorelei yet, but at 9 lbs 2 oz, it's looking promising.

Girls, now is the time to start preparing!

Susan, have Sarah do at least 100 free throws a day. And no more pillows on her bed - she sleeps only with basketballs every night!

Maureen, it's never too early to start slipping some human growth hormone (or other "nutritional supplements") into your daughters' breakfast cereal. (Come on! Think of the team!)

Patti, we'll have to recruit you to work against the boys team. Have Ryan take up smoking, so we can stunt his growth. And no more milk for Nathan - all that calcium for strong bones can only work against us.

And I think it is important to cut out this Hannah Montana nonsense entirely. Instead, the girls will watch only classic Celtic Lakers games from the Larry Bird era.

We'll start with the conditioning drills when I come home for Christmas.

Come on girls! We can do it! The boys team doesn't have a chance!


Bethany said...

This is HILARIOUS!!!!
Thanks for the laugh. I'll be the ref.

Bobby said...

Yes you spelled it wrong


Anonymous said...

Nothing has changed. Why do you get to be the coach. I brought 3/5of the team into this world but YOU have to be the STAR!!!! I am head coach and you can sit on the bench beside me and keep your mouth shut!!!!!

Coach K said...

Dear Anonymous,

That is EXACTLY why you can't be coach - you'll be too emotionally involved in 3 of the players and can't possibly make the tough decisions that need to be made.

MacKenzie gets a bloody lip from some down and dirty elbow throwing - WHAT DO YOU DO?!?!? Jenna starts to whine after only 68 wind sprints. WHAT DO YOU DO?!?!?!? That Mommy crap is not going to cut it out there on the court.

So keep dreaming sister!

Mackenzie said...

My name dosen't have a capital K in it.

Anonymous said...

My name doesn't have a capital k
love Mackenzie