Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Nobody puts Baby in a corner (or gets in the way of her morning coffee)

So this morning, I had a little encounter with an 18 to 20-year-old “I am invincible and look how fast my car can go” young man.  You know the ones I am talking about.  They speed through parking lots in their crappy Hondas; race through our neighborhoods with their Nisson POS; and hold the mistaken notion that they have complete control over their cars and all the other objects in the world around them.

It was a battle over the Starbucks' drive-thru.  The young man didn’t stand a chance.

The Starbucks was on a busy road with a small parking lot.  I entered the Starbucks' parking lot from the road – what you might call the front entrance.  He went around to enter from the back alley.  There was a minivan pulling out of a parking space in front of me, so I patiently waited.  The minivan then headed in the direction of the back alley to exit.  The young man came flying around that corner, clearly intent on cutting me off and getting to that drive-thru first.  According to my set of rules, if I am in the parking lot first, I get to go first.  I sometimes enter from the back alley, but if there is a car already in the parking lot, heading for the drive-thru, I defer to them and let them go ahead. 

So he comes whipping around the corner and he most definitely should have slowed down when he saw the minivan heading towards him.  I'm sure the minivan had to slam on its brakes.  But he didn’t slow down at all.  I saw his intention and did not hesitate.  I had a little jump on him so I refused to back down and kept going at a normal speed right into the drive-thru ahead of him.  It was close.  Very close.  We didn’t make eye contact.  I tried to act like it was oh-so casual.

What I did next is a little weird.  I felt like I had the right to gloat a little about my victory.  Maybe flip him off and say, "Ha, ha you little jerk.  I win!"

But instead I paid for his coffee.  Take that, punk!

 Dame mit Kaffeetasse (Lady with Coffee Cup) by Emile Eisman-Semenowsky

I don't know what possessed me to do it.  I might have felt slightly bad about our aggressive interaction. But only a little.  I think it was more that I was delighting in my *****Winner***** status.  I would be a benevolent dictator and buy coffee for all of the peasants.  ("Shirley Temples all around!")  Perhaps, I was trying to teach him that there are people in the world who can respond to his jerk behavior with only kindness and love.  Make him think a little about how he acts and maybe, just maybe, feel a tiny bit ashamed of himself.

Later I realized that, if he is like a typical 18-year-old male, he might not have gotten my happy-hippie peace-and-love message.  He might have thought I was trying to hit on him.  Ewwww!  That's just what the world needs - this young man's ego puffed up some more.  

"Chicks buy me coffee!  Must be the car."

Last photo is Portrait of a Young Man by Agnolo Bronzinon

Monday, September 28, 2009

An important question

Is Dr. Oz a Vulcan?

Has anyone ever explored this question?

 It is more noticeable when you see him on TV.  The eyebrows.  The ears.  The giant brain.


It just makes sense, doesn't it?