Monday, November 23, 2009

The Derek-bot Strikes Back

Follow up to this entry.

I didn't know he had it in him.  But I should have suspected all along.  Those $50 credit forms that he promised arrived rather quickly.  I know now that it was just a ploy to distract my attention.

I have two Citibank credit cards.  While I was calling to cancel one of them, I also had to make a payment over the phone for the other one.  They had issued a new card and number because of some security breach on their end. This is the second time they have done this.  Just another example of their twisted mind games, I'm sure.  So my online account access was limited and I could not make my payment online as I usually do.

Derek was more than happy to take care of that payment for me.  I could hear the smile in his voice.  I gave him the required routing number and account number from my check.  He read me the canned blurb from their payment script - "You authorize Citibank to make a payment in the amount of blah, blah, blah....."  I gave him my verbal consent and then we were on to other matters. 

I had spoken with the Derek-bot on a Sunday.  My payment was due on a Monday. On Wednesday I checked my account.  No payment was made and it now showed that I was late.

Well done, sir.

It was surprisingly easy to remedy.  I was ready to go into full battle mode. I had my cape and bullet-proof bracelets, Derek-bot's ID number, and the date and time of call in hand.  But it wasn't necessary.  I called and talked to Citibank's Amanda-bot and she was able to make the payment for me and change my grace period so that the payment did not record as late.

Of course, they couldn't just let it go at that.  My next statement arrived and it contains a line item that says "Late Payment - Fee Not Charged" with an amount of $0.00.  The Citibank version of a severed horse head in my bed.

Oh, I get your message, Citibank.  Don't you worry.  Enjoy your brief victory.  As I have said before...this is not over...

This is a PG version of the horse head in bed scene from The Godfather movie. 
I promise, it isn't scary or gross.

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